Hiatus is a word that basically means 'pause' or 'break'. Taking a hiatus on something means that you are giving up on something for awhile. Maybe, temporarily. Maybe, for good.
So this holiday, which is pretty much over in a couple of days, I've decided to take a 'hiatus'. A hiatus on everything that seemingly held me back. I'm gonna retrace my steps a bit, and just see the good in my life.
That started with a nice trip to a place I feel comfortable calling home: Jogja. I go to that place often, and I still remember the round trips we made every other year from the Philippines when I was still living there. Usually, we would sleep over at my Grandparent's house in Muntilan, but it was still going through some renovations after the Merapi volcano eruption.
So instead we slept over at my Mom's chilhood home in Jogja. This is the house where I spent my Indonesian childhood. And after not seeing it in so long, it was pretty nostalgic.
I just loved the homely hospitable atmosphere I got in that house and from the relatives on my Mom's side. And also the fact that I can't help but try to speak a little Javanese when I'm around them (I'm no good at it though, haha). My Mom's one out of 7 siblings, and my Dad's the eldest of 3. So the big family meetings, with my Aunts and Uncles, are well, bigger, when we visit my Mom's brothers and sisters, who have spouses and kids.
First day there, we went to Kuwaru beach, about an hour's drive from the house. It was so refreshing and relaxing. Digging my feet into the wet, cool sand, and let the waves hit my feet. I got really wet, but I didn't really care. The last time I went to the beach was, when I was four, in the Philippines. It brought back a treasured memory where I remember there was this sort of levitating rectangular rock in the water that would slowly moved back and forth across the water. I don't remember if it was like a tourist site addition or some kind of natural phenomenon that pulled the rock, but I do remember my Dad taking me by the hand to step on it, and we just rode it for a while, feeling the water, feeling the breeze...
We ended the day with a nice late lunch at a fish joint. Food was great, atmosphere was great, host was gracious and my family was really getting along. My love of seafood, especially fish was also rekindled. The first dish my Mom cooked up when we got home was grilled "Gurame". Yum! :D
Second day, we went to Ambarukkmo Plaza, a mall pretty close to our house there. We went to Timezone, and we played there for like everyday for four straight days, wasting a lot of money. I mean it's not everyday my Dad's gives us that much money to spend in and arcade. Good news is, I got surprisingly good at claw machine games and brought home four little plushies :D
Then we drove a little farther out, to this seafood joint. One made of bamboos and floated on water, one where you could even go fishing at the space provided to catch fish for you to eat. Fish was basically the only thing we ate there. Hahaha.
The next day, my Dad wanted to head out to Muntilan for his Junior High reunion. Everyone in my family five were supposed to come, meet the Grandparents and all that, but I started barfing in the wee early hours of the morning and so I had to stay behind. And just lay in bed. Drink some funky warm honey drink my uncle gave me to get better. Cautiously, and painfully slowly get food into my stomach and fight the urge to barf.
It was a lazy, unproductive sick afternoon, but it was sort of relaxing and calming, having the house sort of to myself. They have Nickelodeon, probably the only channel I don't have back at home, and time just flew by as I watched "Fairly Odd Parents" a show I missed so much. Who ever pitched the idea to crossover the Timmy Turner's and Jimmy Neutron's world, I. Love. You. Totally made my sick day a whole lot better.
My fam came back later that afternoon, with my Grandparents surprisingly, and we had a nice time together at AmPlaz. My Grandad, little sis, big bro and Dad headed off to Timezone (again) but I already had my fill the first time, so I walked around with my Mom and Granny, window-shopping and a bit of actual shopping, since there was a small bazaar going on the Ground Floor. Batik clothing was everywhere.
The next day was a bit, boring. I was stuck at home, waiting for my Mom and my Jogja relatives to come home from somewhere. Spent most of the afternoon with my Dad, my brother and sister, playing around in the bedroom. My little cousin, Alvin, upgraded to PS3 so that was fun to play. Haha.
Fast forward to tommorrow, we were planning to go fishing. The fishing spot that was near my Aunt's house only opened at around 3, so we just hopped in a car, taking our time to get ready and just drove around, taking in the sights. We passed a few colleges and more historically my Dad's 'kos' he used in high school. 'Kos' is an Indonesian term, which I can't really find the right English translation. It's like this small house that a 'landlady' owns and rents out rooms in the house to anyone who wants use them, but it's not like a fancy apartment. You usually share a kos with friends, or other people.
We also stopped by "UGD" (Unit Gawat Dagadu), which was carrying a "Rumah Moedik" theme this year. "Dagadu" is a Jogja clothing brand. They have the cutest print tees, which hilarious comedic prints, which I guess you have to Indonesian to fully understand :) hahaha.
My Mom bought a few souvenirs for her friends, but as much as I like shopping, I wasn't in the happiest mood and that killed any shopping urges, so I just window-shopped, one of my many simple pleasures.
Afterwards we went to my Aunt Teresa's how in the Mirota housing complex where she lives with my Uncle Aggie. She works at Mirota Batik, a renowed Batik store there, so maybe it's like a work deal (?)
We then took a quick drive to the fishing spot and just sat down, tried our hand at fishing. We caught a few fish, and I'm surpising good at it, catching 5 in just a few hours. ;)
It was really cool outside that day, and windy around the fishing pond, since behind us were cropfields and trees. And when things get all quiet and calm, I have this dangerous tendency to just reflect on my life.
I love my family.
Despite their flaws. Despite the dyfunctionality of them all.
My Mom's siblings are pretty diverse. I have one who's into plants, herbal stuff, one who's a pro at fishing, one who's into massaging techniques, one who is a more corporate marketing guy like my dad. My Dad's brother, I'm closest too, but I haven't seen him lately after his first kid came along, same case with my Dad's little sister. I like seeing my Grandparents, since they're really the only one I have. My Mom's parents died when 18 years ago, when she was still growing up, and it kinda got to me how I'll never get a chance to know them.
But away from this heavenly trip, I did realize how... disconnected I still am from my family. I guess from this little family community in Jogja there's only one thing I envy from my little cousins, Alvin and Fiona. They grow up around all that love and family care. This one house they live in with their parents, a few other of my Mom's siblings that haven't moved out a a litter of kitten that set up home in the backyard (okay, that kinda doesn't have any connection, but I adore cats!).
My family's really the only one who moved out, and yes, the first nine years of my life in the Philippines will always be the best nine years of my life, but I realized then and there, as I stared into the clear water of the fishing spot, looking at my own reflection, waiting for my fishing pole to bend, that I was missing a lot of stuff back here, back at... home?
My parents married fairly young, and me and my brother are the only kids in the 'second generation' that are goig through high school. I have an older cousin, who's in university now but she can get along well with all of the adults. My little sister, has it best. She's the same age as Alvin, so they get along great, goofing around like kids should, and Fiona sees her like her own big sister.
I guess, simply, what I'm saying is that although I've never felt more comfortable with anyone else other than my family, I realize that there will always be a feeling of never... truly belonging.
I grew up away from all of this Jogja, traditional charm. Me, my brother and sister, will always be the 'odd ones out', I guess, because we were raised in such a different culture.
But you know what? That's okay. It only adds to the diversity in this group of people I call family.
And honestly?
I wouldn't wish for anyone better.
--Karin Novelia, Family Girl :)
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